i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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