Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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