Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
