It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
