Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
