he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
