Got a toothbrush?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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