i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
