Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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