Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
