What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
