it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
