It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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