Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
