drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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