I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
