Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
