We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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