I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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