i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
