Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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