if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
