did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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