I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
