hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
