Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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