Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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