I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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