her vagine was all disorganized.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
