is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
