that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
