You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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