so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
