What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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