Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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