Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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