Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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