I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
