I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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