is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
