I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
