And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My vagina just clenched in fear
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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