Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
