you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Girls should come with a carfax report
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
