I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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