Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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