new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
