you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
