I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
