im six kinds of drunk right now
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
